Either in a series of bullet points or freewriting, explore the following as they pertain to you:
- “Nature” – Ethnicity, Race, Gender, Sexuality, Personality
- Institutional – Nationality, Religion, Profession
- Discourse – Environmentalist, Feminist, Libertarian, Marxist, Vegan
- Affinity – Scouts, Teenager, Goth
Part II: Journal Reflection
In a personal journal or Google Doc: Once you have compiled a comprehensive list, write about the experiences you have had with each. Do not hold back. Some will offer more passionate responses than others will. Some may upset you. Some may even surprise you.
This will be part of an on-going exploration as we examine the narrative that is our lives. We are all protagonists, characters narrating our existences through our first person point of view. Remember, there is a third person narrator - dual narrative if you will - telling the story of us. Let your voice be the true war story.
Part III: Blog Discussion
In this blog space: Post ONE section that you feel comfortable sharing with the class in a blog response. Read your classmates’ responses, and please respond directly to at least one student in which you share an experience and one where you learned something new.
Depression
ReplyDeleteI wrote about being a vegan in our previous post for Global Goals, so I think I will put myself out on a limb and share the label that hounds me to this day. The tricky thing is that I never understood whether “depression” goes under the Institutional or Nature category. Has depression been something I learned or inherited from my family members who suffered from the disease? Is it a byproduct of living in a society not designed for our DNA? Let’s face it, the stress we suffer comes from institutionalized elements that our ancestors did not encounter. In the case of depression, I always bought into the idea that depression was something you managed. “If you are depressed it is your fault and you need to fix it. Snap out of it.” I received the depression label as a teenager, with my mother saying, “You are just like me.” This not only made me, subconsciously, link depression with myself, but unintentionally caused me to feel like I am not a man. My father used to pride himself on “being positive.” Therefore, in my mind, my lack of “happiness” was my fault, and it became something I worked on for the next 30 years. I became a master of hiding it to the outside world. I put on a brave face all day, and crashed when I got home. In my 20s, I tried therapy, and numerous prescription drugs for depression. My goal was always to become “more positive” and happier. The drugs made me feel better, to some extent, but the side effects were crippling. Always tired. Sluggish. I would get “better” and then get off the medication, feeling like I could take it from here, only to slip into the depths again. The other issue is that I suffer from seasonal depression. I tried mood lamps, and long walks in the cold. Nothing really worked. Then, at 40, I decided I would give my life a complete overhaul. I stopped drinking alcohol, coffee, and it was partially for health reasons I became a vegan. All of this helped. I started to going to the gym 3-4 times a week. I swim. I bike. “Athlete” was never a term I used to describe myself, but it felt good. Guess what? The depression isn’t as bad, but it still did not go away. I finally saw a psychiatrist who gave me proper medication (what I was previously taking was part of the problem). He also shared that I am doing all the right things. There is nothing more I could do to improve myself. More importantly, he said that depression is obviously in my family history and hereditary. It is a condition. He told me to give myself a break. I do not need to feel ashamed or that I need to “snap out of it.” I shared this with you, because I know that it is a condition that is widely misunderstood and many people, like me, hide it well. If you have depression and need someone to talk to, I am always available.
You mentioned a lot of really important aspects of mental health I think we often overlook or push to the side, yet they remain very pertinent in such a fast-paced society. Your description of progressing into a healthier coping state also was great to hear and offered a new viewpoint we rarely see on these issues. A largely contributing aspect I think makes these topics so difficult is that each person's individual experiences and interpretations don't lead to the same solution necessarily unlike how when you break an arm. We've all been through tough times its just our ability to rebound and move on which defines where we go from there. I think the best we can do though is offer support and hear people out which I'm appreciative you've offered.
DeleteSimilar to Mr. Pellerin’s post, I think that personal psychology acts as a defining factor for me, like many others. Having been through a plethora of experiences, life deems itself to be anything but simple. Everyone has a personal outlook on life, and the conglomerate of psychological attributes is intrinsic to the definition of self. Externally, medical terms are used as a mere binary oversimplification of those traits with standardized, comparative categories. The subjectivity of such matters has been a largely defining factor for me. Examples such as legislation seem undisputed, yet we rarely come to view the situation from alternate perspectives. A poor man starving in the streets may try to seek a job, but resorts to stealing bread from a large supermarket. While definitely illegal, in relativity, the man has little choice towards self-betterment. Having seen people processed like poultry, the regulations, prescriptions, and simplistic outlook on these issues appears dehumanizing. From a societal standpoint, everyone is required to fulfill basic tasks and to mask their true self. Personally, the lesson I took from this all was to try help listen to people’s stories more and help out whenever possible despite the aforementioned judgements cast upon them. Unfortunately, I feel that society has become overly chaotic where we often forget the simplest things like listening.
ReplyDeleteBy nature, I am an introvert. In a society in which the traits of extroverts are seen as the ideal, to succeed as an introvert requires a certain amount of manipulating the system. In school, the number of times you speak as opposed to the quality of your contributions to a discussion is what determines whether you are engaged. It seems to me that participation is much more than verbal engagement, it is also attentiveness, thoughtfulness, working with peers, and written work outside of class. However, I have learned that in order to succeed in school and the world I need to prepare what I will say, raise my hand more often than is comfortable, and do more than listen and think. As an introvert, that’s what I do best–listen and think. As such, a lot of my friends are extroverts who need someone on the other end who will enjoy listening to them. In high school, popularity is measured by the number of friends you have, rather than the depth of your friendship. Though I love to spend time with friends, I prefer to hang out with just a few rather than a roomful. An extrovert gains energy from social events, while social events tire me out and quiet time on my own or with family is what restores me. Certainly, to be introverted is not to be shy. I cannot tell you the number of times people have signed my yearbook with, “You’re quiet, but nice.” I see it as a strength—I’m sensitive to others’ feelings and needs and able to notice the people that get lost in the crowd. I can also stretch myself to do something that I care about or want to succeed in, such as a presentation or a performance in front of large groups of people. But the best feeling is to return to a quiet space afterwards. Both extroverts and introverts are needed in the world, and when we better understand one another we can make it a place where both are valued in our society.
ReplyDelete-Emma
DeleteI'm an introvert as well, and I like your perspective on introversion. I still struggle with seeing my introversion as a burden in some ways, but your outlook on it as a strength, and being "able to notice the people that get lost in the crowd" was really nice and I hope to understand my introversion more in this way.
DeleteEmma, I absolutely love this post.
DeleteYou have such a strong voice as a writer. I specifically thought this little part of your post really stood out:
"Certainly, to be introverted is not to be shy. I cannot tell you the number of times people have signed my yearbook with, “You’re quiet, but nice.” I see it as a strength—I’m sensitive to others’ feelings and needs and able to notice the people that get lost in the crowd."
I definitely feel like I'm more of an extrovert. I'm outspoken and could go on talking forever, but I really relate to at the end of the day wanting just to be in a quiet space. :)
Emma, I relate to so much of what you said. I too am an introvert and I relate to feeling exhausted after socializing and needing to recharge afterwards. I feel like people always equate being introverted as being shy and never speaking in group situations, which is the case for some introverts, but not all of them.
DeleteEmma, I love your blog post because although people think of me as an extrovert, I relate to a ton of the things you mentioned. I love what you said about needing to come home and spend time with family to recharge. After a busy week, I also look forward to staying home and enjoying a break from the hustle and bustle. Sometimes it feels like staying in is unsocial or distant from friends, but thank you for highlighting that this is never a bad thing and is completely necessary for physical and mental health.
Delete^^ -Jessica
DeleteNowadays, I feel as though people neglect creativity. Our society today seems to be dominated by politics and hyper-focused on “practical” jobs that will earn you the most money. Intelligence now seems to be based solely off of how well you do in maths or sciences, which have never been my strengths. Never would I have deemed my imagination to be a weakness. However, that’s what most people today label it as: a useless quirk. I can’t count the number of times my family has failed to convince me to change my major. Are you sure you want creative writing? How about communications or business? What people don’t realize is how much of our intellect lies within our creativity. Being emotionally-intelligent has not only molded who I am, but it has helped me live more healthily. Whenever I’m upset, I project my feelings into writing. Whenever I want to entertain myself, I usually read a book. Whenever I want to immerse myself in something, I’ll join a play. All of these activities have benefitted me immensely, allowing me to recognize that the world does not revolve around business and money. I’ve been able to appreciate the simple details of life, and, in a way, be more in touch with my emotions. To me, creativity is not pointless. Without it, we’d be living in a black-and-white world, having no sort of culture or beauty in it.
ReplyDelete“Medicine, law, business, engineering...these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.” -Dead Poets Society
I really relate to what you're saying. Throughout my life I've always been interested in the arts and wanted to pursue that in my future professions. Even my own parents have done similar things with me, since I want to study creative writing and film production. Though I'm sure that it somewhat comes from them looking out for my own good, and I'm sure the same goes for your parents, because it's hard to get a job in a creative field.
DeleteI agree with everything that you mentioned in your post. Although my parents have been very encouraging and allowed me to express and pursue my creativity freely, I am going through a personal struggle of whether I should continue to pursue a more creative career path or not. I want to do something I am passionate about with the rest of my life, but like you mentioned societal standards make me feel like it's not practical.
DeleteI have come to view an artist as someone who shares themself with the rest of the world. In my struggle to define what the label of artist meant to me, I found myself treating it as a barrier. Protection from openness, from the other parts of my personality I had grown afraid to share. I recall being more outgoing through elementary school up until middle school when I began to slowly reject myself and use “artist” as my one defining characteristic. The word only meant “someone who creates art” or an odd talent that allowed me to differentiate myself in a crowd I so often felt blended into with my soft-spoken personality. There are many labels I do not feel comfortable with yet “artist” became an embodying word. I struggled with the label even in times before I immersed myself within it. I was not a working professional or some groundbreaking thinker, which was what an artist was to me then. I lowered myself as I cocooned fully through middle school and in turn, changed the definition of artist to a basic skill. I allowed this label to define me and grew prouder of it as my abilities developed. Being the “art kid” was a role I willingly accepted, and I had forgotten the rest of myself in exchange for being seen solely as my artwork. The idea of going to an art school excited me, growing in my abilities with like-minded peers, and yet living as an art student for a month in summer caused an identity crisis. In a community of hundreds of other artists, I was no longer a label. I was reluctant to share the parts of my identity that I had hidden away behind the “artist.” “Artist” felt meaningless if I could not find myself within it. These feelings built themselves up in a sudden, sad realization that I had been lost for a long time and was only now starting to climb out of a deep place. Something I found from this experience was a new meaning of “artist.” An artist was not someone only good at drawing or a working professional, but someone willing to share. If I could be myself wholly, if I could view myself as someone worth knowing for every part of my personality, then I could become what it meant to be an artist, no longer a label to hide behind but a piece part of making a whole body. I was not working to force changes, but to view the harmless parts of myself in a more positive light. Even in the few months since this experience, I am beginning to see an individual that i don’t need to be ashamed of. As I compiled my portfolio for college, it was interesting to analyze a common theme I now noticed in my work. It was no longer meaningless, but a story of identity. Everything I had made portrayed an internal struggle that I have grown to understand looking back on it. I am beginning to view myself honestly as an artist and as someone who has more to share of themself with the outside world.
ReplyDeleteAudrey, this is so well written. I really liked the way that you expain how you found yourself through being an artist, even though at some points it had been a barrier for you. I think it is important to look at these words and ideas that we describe ourselves with and how they make us who were are, whether that be positive, negative, or always changing.
DeleteAudrey this is poetic! I think your path to taking on the name of artist shows how deeply you care about art and probably has made you an even better artist, because you are conscious of its meaning to you.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHere's my section from what I wrote about Nature:
DeleteI think, like a lot of people, I’ve struggled with my nature aspects of identity the most throughout my life. Of course, all four are difficult and complex, but nature aspect is one that always seems to follow me. Perhaps our nature identity is so important, because we’re born with it, and it has been with us for as long as we could remember. But for me it seems like the most prominent because - no matter how hard you try nature is something that you can’t separate from yourself. You can’t conceal it, or change it, or strip it away. You have to deal with it.
I’ll start with Muslim, because I put it in a few different categories, that’s because I think religion is a tricky one. I never had to take my Shahada to know I was a muslim, because both my parents were raised muslim. My parents were never strict on Islam, my Dad’s side specifically were less big on religion, my grandmother never wore the hijab and they would still do things that the Quran considered to be wrong. My mom started separating from her religion as she got older, she comes from a very conservative muslim family, and she was the first to kind of break free. She took of the Hijab when she was 17, but still has never drank alcohol and dresses modestly. But they both raised us to believe in one god, Allah, and the prophet Muhammad. I always struggled coming to terms with my religion, often times I will never feel “Muslim enough” or “Westernized enough”. I don’t pray 5 times a day, or make it to the mosque weekly like I probably should. I don’t dress modestly, or wear the hijab unless I’m at the mosque. I don’t read Quran or always take of my shoes when I enter the house, but I know because of my nature I will always be Muslim.
My ethnicity and race has always been a big part of my nature identity. Many people don’t know this, but I’m actually only 25% Palestinian, the other 75% being Lebanese. But when people ask what ethnicity I am, I always first say “Palestinian”. It’s interesting how I always connected to my Palestinian side more, and the same goes for my siblings, perhaps it's because of the huge impact our grandfather (born in Palestine) had on our lives. My mom tells me that it doesn’t really matter, that ‘it’s normal’ and ‘Arab is Arab’, but I only really feel like Arab is a big part of my identity when I’m in the U.S., because it makes it easier for people to group us together.
Identifying as Brown confuses a lot of people, brown can be so many things. You can be brown and be Caucasian, Hispanic, Greek, Indian, Pakistani… really anything. But it’s a term I kind of began to use to describe myself when I got to high school. When I was younger, I used to tell kids that I just “tanned really easily” and took pride in the fact that under the census, Arabs were considered caucasian. I even remember how I’d carry around a baby picture in my backpack and sometimes show the kids “how white I looked” when I was a baby and into two years old. Identifying as Brown confuses a lot of people, brown can be so many things. You can be brown and be Caucasian, Hispanic, Greek, Indian, Pakistani… really anything. But it’s a term I kind of began to use to describe myself when I got to high school. When I was younger, I used to tell kids that I just “tanned really easily” and took pride in the fact that under the census, Arabs were considered caucasian. I even remember how I’d carry around a baby picture in my backpack and sometimes show the kids “how white I looked” when I was a baby and into two years old. But to be Brown is a huge part of my life now. It's part of my nature identity, it's how I was born, and part of my appearance.
Mentally ill is another one that I was debating about where to put. I feel like different people can categorize it based on their experiences differently. But for me, its nature. When I was in third grade I was diagnosed with really bad anxiety and depression and in 6th grade an eating disorder. And I spent years trying to find the right medication that worked with me. Depression and anxiety has a very prominent history in my family. It's something I've learned to cope with and manage over time, but I consider it part of my nature identity because it's been with me from the beginning
DeleteSince I was young, I've always been outspoken. It's a trait that can get me into trouble sometimes, but it's probably one of the most important aspects of my individuality. I'm not afraid to speak my mind, or hide my opinions, or call people out on things that I take issue with. It sometimes collides with my desire to always be liked, and to do whatever it takes to please people. But as I get older, it becomes a more and more important part of my self identity. Sometimes people ask me “aren’t you scared what people will think of you?” or “how are you always so open?” The truth is…. not really. And... I just am. Even this blog post is an example of my outspoken identity. I’m someone who shares a lot of personal experiences and opinions in class, social media, my writing, and my speaking. I’m always reminded by people “I hope you don’t feel like I pressured you into sharing all that” or “you don’t have to talk about it with me / other person if you don’t feel comfortable”, but the truth is I really don’t care. I’m lucky enough to feel comfortable with my beliefs, experiences, and thoughts. But I also recognize that a lot of people (if not most) don’t, and that’s perfectly okay too. We all deal with things in different ways.
Nadia, you make a really great point that I agree with. Although I am a higher percent Irish, I jump at the chance to talk about my German heritage. I think, for me, it's because I have a stronger connection to German culture. My grandmother was born there during WW2 and she had a tremendous impact on my life and the stories she told will always stick with me. I have none of these first hand accounts of life Ireland and thus, am less connected to the culture.
DeleteWhen I started to think about writing this blog post, I was stumped. I had a hard time looking at myself and my life from an outside perspective. I remembered taking the Myers- Briggs personality test in my psychology class earlier this year, and I had written down that I was an ISFJ personality type. The ISFJ personality type is often described as a “defender”, or “protector”. This is because they are driven by their personal values and core beliefs. They derive a great deal of satisfaction from caring fom others, and that is where the protector label comes from. They also typically want to get along with others, make sure they do what is expected of them, and work hard. This is something that I have never really realized about myself, and at first, I thought it was weird to describe myself. After reading through sites that really broke down this personality type, I realized that it was a very accurate description of myself. Just because this personality type is labeled as the “defender” does not mean that people who have different personality types can not have a similar mindset in the way of wanting to help and care for other people. In Emma’s post, she talked about how introverts need time alone to recharge, and that is when they can really be restored. For ISFJ people this idea of the protector is what does the charging. Being able to help someone is always a good feeling for people, but it does something different for each person. I find myself feeling my best when I know that I can solve a problem for or with someone that they would not be able to solve on their own. I also hate confrontation, which I think comes from the fact that I want to get along with people. This also links back to the idea of being an introvert. I have always been shy, but have learned as I have grown up that it is important to find close friends, and continue to constantly branch out, but to also stay rooted to my instincts when I do not want to be in large group settings or big social gatherings. Again like Emma has talked about, I strongly consider myself an introvert, but not someone who is very shy. Sensing, feeling and judging all tie back to the idea of being someone that wants to help people. I believe that that is the best way to make myself feel good about what I am doing. This test of your personality has different degrees of accuracy for each person but when I understood what ISFJ really stood for, I knew that it was true for me.
ReplyDeleteI too was classified an an ISFJ after taking the Myers-Briggs test. Although, I never really saw myself as an introvert, I came to realize that many of the traits that define this personality type align with my core beliefs. Your post was very insightful. I relate to how you were able to draw your own conclusions and reconcile your true personality with a description given to you by a personality test.
DeleteI was also classified as an ISFJ by the Myers-Briggs test. After reading the description of this personality type, I remember being shocked to see how accurate it was. I specifically connected to what you said about caring for others.
DeleteI grew up in a very Catholic family and it has always been tied to my identity. Yes, we are that family that goes to church (almost) every Sunday and prays. To some this may seem weird, but to me it is what I have always known. My faith was modeled after my grandmother’s, she is the most religious person I know. She has a very strong relationship with God and has always shared religion with me. From going to church together to praying grace before dinner, she was always there to support my spiritual journey. I can see how God has touched her life in many ways. She is one of the kindest people I know who is constantly giving back not only to the Church, but to everyone around her. She has always been there to support but not force religion on me, but allowed me find God and sharing his love with me. She is a good role model for me with her kind spirit and patience. For me, I channel religion into volunteering. I like to volunteer at Cor Unum especially, and being Catholic, service is very important. I hope to continue serving the community with my faith in mind. I think that my religion has definitely played a role in my personality development and especially how I interact and connect with others, which is one of my favorite things to do. I feel that I am very outgoing and this stems from my religious beliefs and family.
ReplyDeleteKathleen, I love this. I can relate to having spiritual things be a big part of my personal and family life, and my community. I really appreciate your example of service and how religion is something you identify with because you live it, and not just at church.
DeleteKathleen, I really like your response. I, too, come from a Catholic family, and my older relatives are definitely the ones that enforce religion more than anyone else. While I do not frequent church, I love connecting with my spiritual side through volunteering, as well, and my grandmother is really committed to her local church, much like yours.
DeleteIn today’s world, it is difficult to distinguish between doing-just-for-doing’s-sake and genuine, elevated caring. Being in the service of others may be a common resume filler, but to me it is an authentic gesture that has shown me that it is truly better to give than receive. Community service, or some iteration of that moniker, landed on my list under every sub-category. Philanthropy is an institution that is driven by our social conscience and being a charitable giver is ingrained in my nature. The importance of community service, both locally and globally, is a critical part of our collective conversation. I am honored to be a part of Interact, the high school arm of Rotary International, and being its president is one of the most rewarding things I do. Interact’s motto is “Service Above Self” and it guides all of our service projects. My affinity to community service has nurtured my inherent need to help and be part of something bigger than myself. Albert Pike once said that “What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” This outlook motivates me to try and leave the world a better place.
ReplyDeleteThis exercise has been very enlightening, and I now realize why I try to avoid labels. I looked at my list and most of the terms I conjured for myself were one dimensional. I relish being part of community service activities and feel extraordinarily rewarded by serving others, but I am by no means completely selfless. My authentic self is multifaceted and bleeds outside the boxes into which social expectation are placed. I believe that is true universally. Who among us fits perfectly into any mold? Are the labels we assign ourselves limiting us? Am I living up to the statement made by my fourth grade teacher when she said I was not a “math person?” Do we act in accordance with social standards? For me, I am going to be mindful of the boundaries that get set and remember that we all lie somewhere inside and outside of every branded box. It is in the messy areas outside of the confines of a pigeonhole where our unique, exceptional and most interesting selves exist.
My affinity with being a teenager has affected my life in more ways than I could have ever anticipated. While there are many positives and benefits to this time in a person’s life, there have been many negatives as well that I feel like are not touched upon enough. One example of the drawbacks I have faced as a teenager is being looked down upon; no matter how well thought out and expressed my ideas are, there is almost always a lack of respect or acknowledgement of my voice by my older counterparts. Particularly in high school, there have been countless times where authority figures have simply turned my opinions away as a whiny teenager who is simply not in control of her emotions. Rarely am I seen as an actual relevant human being with thought provoking ideas and unique opinions. With the exception of a few older, more wise individuals, my opinions as a teenager are typically pushed to the back burner, as they are not seen as a valuable contribution to the conversation. This is particularly upsetting when it comes to pressing issues in the world, especially with those that pertain specifically to me; when myself or my friends have expressed disdain with America’s gun laws, we are told we don’t understand the subject well enough; when we have differing political views from today’s politicians, we are labeled as ignorant and whiny; and if I were to ever stick up for myself in a situation like that, I would be written up as disrespectful and ungrateful. All this being said, I recognize that my position as a teenager in today’s society is of utmost importance. I have the power to one day change the world with my views that I foster during my high school career. I have the potential to learn everything about the world and transform myself into a more knowledgeable human being. Despite the many difficulties of this time in my life, I am appreciative of my experiences regardless of how they make me feel, as they all help mold me into a more wise individual.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your blog post and I related it to it in several ways. I find it upsetting that the opinions of teenager's are often dismissed just because of their age.
DeleteI definitely relate to the idea that, since I'm a teenager, adults think my opinions are invalid. It's annoying when older generations just assume all you care about is your phone and etc. when you actually show concern for pressing issues, such as gun control.
DeleteI completely agree with your blog post and relating to the lack of respect we get as teenagers, based on pre-convienced opinions. I almost became angry just thinking of all the examples I could write about to back up this argument. Whether it's at a store, restaurant or in school, I can definitely relate to the mistreatment you're speaking about.
DeleteI completely agree with your blog post and relating to the lack of respect we get as teenagers, based on pre-convienced opinions. I almost became angry just thinking of all the examples I could write about to back up this argument. Whether it's at a store, restaurant or in school, I can definitely relate to the mistreatment you're speaking about. -Jessica
DeleteKristy, I can definitely relate to your post. I think that was such a good analysis and accurate representation of how a lot of teenagers feel today.
DeleteThis is very well written and I can totally relate to your ideas.
DeleteI am most definitely an extrovert and there is no denying it. I thrive in social scenes and I feel awkward in a room when no one is talking. I love loud rooms filled with laughter and lots of people, it is just where I feel most comfortable. I also enjoy being the loud person in the room, I enjoy making others laugh. I also like to help others break out of their shells and have a good time; my personal thought is that life is too short to hold back.
ReplyDeleteAnd while I do love being extroverted, it has its flaws. Part of the enjoyment of large social gatherings for me, as I said, is making other people laugh. However, this can come at the expense of compromising my moral values. On multiple occasions, I have found myself living off of the energy in the room and telling jokes that may have been offensive to others. However, people were laughing and so I continued with the jokes because the room was almost encouraging it. And of course this was not the right way to carry myself but, when everyone is laughing it can be hard to stop. Carrying on the theme of obnoxious behavior, I can’t tell you how many videos of me there are doing dumb things for attention and laughs. Some of the videos are genuinely funny but most… well, most are not.
I have found that, for me, part of me being an extrovert is always speaking my mind. No matter the situation I like to have my voice heard and I like to challenge contrasting opinions. I have never been scared or nervous to share my thoughts, something that I will forever be grateful for. I think this also comes in handy when I need to stick up for myself or my friends. I have no trouble confronting someone if they have done something to harm someone I care about or to harm myself.
Anna - I think it was really powerful how you were able to acknowledge some tough things that a lot of people would ignore.
DeleteThe ability to acknowledge ones wrongs and bad decisions is really rare these days, and it takes a lot of courage so kudos to you :)
I can definitely relate to this. I too struggle with finding a balance of being an extrovert and not taking it too far. But I also think it's important to recognize the good parts about it too, and as Nadia said you being able to recognize this is very big of you.
DeleteThis blog post was truly engaging me as it forced me to analyze myself, which was something I had never done in the past. With a name like “Rishi Srinivasan”, it is no doubt that one of the first things that people know about me is that I am Indian. However, being Indian has affected me in more ways that I could imagine and it is truly something a part of me. The customs and cultures that come with being Indian has expanded my views on other nationalities and ethnicities. Though I would not consider myself an incredibly cultured person, I have truly learned a lot about my culture and my family history. Furthermore, I have made several friends through just being Indian. In montessori, when I was a passive child who struggled to make friends, I bonded with some of my fellow Indian peers just over the fact that they were Indian. I would share memories of past events and attend cultural events with them. However, being Indian has also negatively impacted me in some ways. During the basketball season, when we would go to away games, I would be heckled at by spectators saying “I don’t belong on the court” and that I should return to India, despite being an American. I have had to boost my resume because I know being Indian will reduce my chances of getting into my top colleges. I have had to prove myself more in many ways to prove that I am not the stereotypical Indian child who studies hard and only sticks to books. I get made fun of for being Indian at times, since I act like a typical white kid who lives in Andover, but I have always been proud to be Indian.
ReplyDeleteThat's terrible that people would say that to you.
DeleteI think in Andover, especially people like to poke fun at their friends or classmates for always "acting white", which usually just means going about our lives in a normal manner.
Throughout my life, my relatives have always been extremely important to me. As I have gotten older, I have noticed that although their impact has remained strong, it has also changed in form. Growing up in Andover, I have noticed that many of my friends have relatives with similar socioeconomic backgrounds and political views. However, this is not the case for me. The majority of my relatives are from the midwest, specifically Iowa and Wisconsin. As we have talked about the idea of the ‘single story’, I’m sure you have conjured up a few of your own preconceived ideas about my family, just by hearing where they are from. More than likely-- in this case at least-- your assumptions are correct. My aunt and uncle live on a farm, my relatives are not wealthy, and many of them are Republican. As a child, none of this had any impact on me. However, now that I am older, I think about it more and more. Although it has caused me a bit of shame, I am beginning to see how it has shaped me in a positive way as well. Specifically, I find that it has taught me to be extremely accepting of other people’s beliefs. It is easy to repeat your opinions and block off others. However, each of us are just a singular perspective. More likely than not, and as I would like to hope, people have reasons to back up their beliefs. If you do not take the time to contemplate their reasoning, it is impossible to look at a problem from a holistic approach. Because I know people with such varying opinions, I often find myself trying to stand up for everyone. I struggle to form opinions, always considering every possible viewpoint. As much as I will be the first to admit that there are flaws in this part of my personality, I have also grown to cherish it.
ReplyDelete“We must love them both, those whose opinions we share and those whose opinions we reject, for both have labored in the search for truth, and both have helped us in finding it.” -St. Thomas Aquinas, Dominican Philosopher.
While I don't have the same history, I completely agree with you knowing that our past often shapes the perception people have of us. Being raised in a Slovak culture, a lot of aspects of life also seem different for me now when I look at them and I think your description of being accepting of them helps a lot. I also agree that trying to view situations from other people's views helps see things better.
DeleteGoing off of what Oliver said... I think your perspective on these issues is a great attribute to have. It's important to have a level head and be ale to grasp the idea that ones political views or different way of life than yours do not necessarily make them a bad person or wrong, it's just different. Having experiences like yours growing up around these different environments must have been so shaping even if you didn't know it then it's really powerful you are able to recognize it now.
DeleteKathryn, I really like what you said about how "ones political views or different way of life than yours do not necessarily make them a bad person". I completely agree with you and I'm glad you were able to get that idea from my post. I often find myself standing up for my relatives when people say that Republicans are "bad people". Although I'm not trying to say you have to agree with everyone, you should at least treat them with respect.
DeleteI think it's really powerful when you talk about how even though sometimes you can be ashamed of certain pieces of your life and how now you're able to see how it has positively shaped you. Being able to do recognize growth within yourself and to know how accepting you are is really great. Many people tend to only listen to one side and aren't open to other opinions. Understanding where people come from and the evidence they have to back up their beliefs is really important.
DeletePaige, I didn't know your family is from Iowa - so is mine :).
DeleteI think you bring up a good point. There can be such a pretentiousness that people carry in regards to their 'progressiveness' and often times it can really be frustrating. There are bad people who are liberal, and there are bad people that are conservative. While I believe in being able to judge people for their political views, looking at it from partisan lines is far too broad and I can see how frustrating it must be.
I have a lot of extended family that can be really sexist a lot of the time. Sometimes I'm around them and the things they say makes me cringe with discomfort. I know it doesn't make it right, but a lot of it is just because that is the culture where they come from. And I still love them even though I may disagree with a lot of the things they say.
As I bulleted a list of my "nature" a variety of stories and phrases flowed onto the paper. Some of the bullets I wrote down were inquisitive, musical, and outgoing, but the aspect that I think shapes most of my life most is optimism. I believe that attacking each day with a positive mindset can make an extraordinary difference. Reading my fellow classmates blog posts goes to prove that we all come from a wide range of backgrounds and have different interests, talents, ethnicities and mindsets. Despite these differences, optimism is a universal trait that can be applied to all walks of life. However, my blog post is not in any way trying to diminish or lessen the reality of depression and other mental illnesses. Thank you Mr. Pellerin for sharing your own nature with us and letting us into your life. Reading how you thought your "lack of “happiness” was your fault" sparked an entire thread in my head about the difference between trying to be optimistic and choosing to be negative. Optimism is easier for some than others, as there are struggles in all of our lives that no one knows nothing about. It is challenging to be optimistic all of the time, but I believe that trying to focus on the "good" can often help, even in the darkest of times. Oliver mentioned how our personal psychology greatly defines who we are. Connecting this to my earlier thought, we are all unique and experience life differently, but all of our lives can be extraordinary. Taking on every experience with a positive mindset forms the path we choose to walk, a virtue I try to live by.
ReplyDelete-Jess
DeleteI really like the way you approached this topic as it helps to see the previous people's stories in another light. I definitely agree with what you're saying and feel that we all should try to focus on the good rather than to cling to negative experiences. On a tangible level everything you said seemed somewhat simple, but the implementation is unfortunately not as widespread as it should. Also, your mention of "trying to be optimistic and choosing to be negative" helped me a lot to better emphasize your argument.
DeleteWhile I have always had a hard time deciding whether I was Type A or Type B, my friends have always been quick to say “Michelle, you’re the most type B person I know”. Although all my friends tell me this and I understand why, I also see how I can by Type A. Type B personalities are “easygoing, and laid back”, and while I definitely am in many aspects, I also do see myself as “competitive and self-critical”. Though I am not a big planner, I am still organized and good with time management. I have always been able to manage my priorities, and get my work done, but then in other situations, I am the worst planner. If I am planning something, in most cases a friend will have to push me to set times and events as I get distracted and don’t feel the need to have everything planned out. Because I also don’t feel a need to plan, but I also cannot improvise, then I can’t tell if it is A or B. In these kind of situations, I can definitely see how I am type B but then also how I am type A. Even with first impressions, I know a lot of people meet me and immediately think that I am laid back and relaxed, which I am, but I also do get stressed and anxious. When I am stressed or anxious I do feel myself think like “oh that’s okay, it doesn’t really matter”, and I feel like sometimes I show that so people think I don’t care, but I actually do care inside. So although I have always been told I am Type B, and I do agree with it, I feel that it is almost a defense mechanism for my Type A, if that even makes sense.
ReplyDeleteMichelle, it's nice to see someone else that feels this way.
DeleteI too find myself struggling to categorize myself in terms of "Type A" and "Type B". I am really organized and a perfectionist when it comes to school, and I need to have a strict plan for everything that I do in my day or else it stresses me out. My backpack and my binders are organized meticulously, but on the other hand at home I'm a very messy person. My room and car are always a mess so that would make me more towards "type B".
I completely agree with your blog post Michelle, having to divide ourself then weigh out which category we belong to more. To me personally, I hate having to be put into a category or a generalized personality type, I have always disagreed in one way or another with those type of things. I express very polar actions that could make me Type A or Type B and it's frustrating to have to feel like I need to pick one.
DeleteI agree that people can exist between labels as you described for yourself. I do not normally think about what type personality I am though I do not think I would fit one perfectly either. Sometimes I feel like these strict labels can cause more confusion than understanding
DeleteThis blog post when it was assigned got me unusually excited. I feel confident enough to say that this past year, I’ve matured enough to have an in depth understanding of my flaws and the strengths that come with them. Throughout this year, I had a strong urge to change myself for the better and have done a lot of self-reflection to make myself a better person rather than a stubborn believer of a typical teenager thinking that the world needs to change, not me. My biggest flaw has become my anxiety, it was the most identifiable flaw I could see. It’s specifically hard to change one’s mentality, that’s how we’ve grown up thinking but it doesn’t mean it’s right. For as long as I can remember, I’ve grown up with anxiety and an excessive fear of failing in life. It seems like an irrational thing to think about and a bit generic, but that’s the best way I could summarize it. I’ve grown up in an environment where it was a lot of hustling, it’s kind of trained me to always keep moving forward, there’s always room to get better and that’s not a bad thing. However, this led me to feel that I couldn’t congratulate myself on achievements because I was so anxious to get better. There’s always room for improvement, but I never realized there’s also room to be proud of myself.
ReplyDeleteI was in a competitive environment with my brother as my biggest competition, as a brother who is 9 years older than me his life was on track before mine even started. Looking up to him, I saw him as a perfect child who I needed to be just like. This self induced stress was what I grew up believing, I can’t stop until I’m just like my brother. This was a bit of an unrealistic goal, as he graduated from Andover High School as a valedictorian and was off to medical school. The constant anxiety throughout high school of me failing my parents and never being as good as my brother was a big burden in my everyday life.
I’m glad reality hit me at the start of junior year, I finally understood that comparing two different people is like comparing an apple to an orange - it’s incomparable. I started to focus on myself and my achievements, because that is what I can control. I’ve been training myself to congratulate myself, it started with something as small as saying “I’m proud of myself for getting my homework done” or “I’m proud of how early I went to bed”. I wish I could say that my anxiety is gone, but it doesn’t just disappear, it’ll always be there for the rest of my life because it is a condition I have. That doesn’t mean it has to define me.
Willa, this is really powerful.
DeleteI too have struggled with comparing myself to my siblings throughout my life.
I love how you give yourself little rewards, there is something very powerful in appreciating the little things that you do. I also can relate to struggling from anxiety and I think that this is a good way or coping with parts of it.
DeletePerfectionism is an inconsistent quality of mine that is either fully present and all-demanding, or completely absent. This facet of my personality accounts for all of my motivation, or lack thereof. It feels as if there is an on-off switch in my brain assigned to every single different topic present in my life. I become hyper-fixated by topics with “ON” switches that have my full interest and motivation, and push me to strive to perfection in that certain area. If I put genuine effort into something, I feel as if I have to be the best otherwise there was no point in even trying. This anxiety deeply ingrained within my brain prompts me to exclusively further develop skills I’m already good at in order to become great, rather than push myself with subjects I struggle with in order to become better. I’ve realized it’s been a long-term pattern of mine to, when I’m lacking in a certain area, completely stop caring and give up. I’m embarrassed to admit to myself that I am not perfect and will naturally need more help in certain areas than others, because I’m human.
ReplyDeleteThough the drawbacks are numerous, this anxiety has its perks of advancing my strengths and helps me greatly with succeeding in school and other areas. Recently, I’ve began making conscious efforts to improve what I struggle with rather than perfect what I am already good at. I’ve come to realize that life is all about balance, which is what I’m trying to find now.
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ReplyDeleteFor my blog, I struggled to find something that made me unique. I tried to think about events that have helped to determine pieces of my personality but what stuck out to me was the difference between the events that involve other people and the events that were just about me. Like anyone else my family has affected my beliefs and what I’ve been exposed to. One thing I found that differentiates me from those people in my life were my choices on what I believed to be unethical and ethical. About three years ago, I decided to make the switch to becoming a vegetarian due to my feelings about the treatment of animals in industrial meat farms. Learning how animals were treated and seeing them for myself, changed my perspective. Before this transition my favorite food was a cheeseburger and I always said that I could never make the switch because of things like this but I understood that making this switch was something bigger than myself. This decision came about in direct correlation with my views about myself and my views as a pacifist. Believing that we should have peace for all included animals for me. In my eyes, I value cows and pigs just as much as I value dogs and cats and don’t believe that they should be treated differently.
ReplyDeleteI have always felt this enormous amount of pressure weighing on me in nearly every aspect of my life, constantly worrying about something. Up until recently, I was at the point where I was worried when I wasn’t worrying. I had all of this pressure being thrown at me, and although it can be really hard to deal with, its helped shape the person that I am currently. One part of my life that has completely changed me as a person is track. I started running track my Sophomore year and right away I was thrown head first into it. I had to learn how to handle the stress and nerves that come along with it, learning how to adapt and develop a strong mentality. This sport has given me more opportunities than I ever thought possible, and for that I am very grateful, but it also can be my worst enemy. It pushes me beyond my limits, testing my strength physically and mentally. Everyone on the outside only ever sees the final race, but they never see the hours of anxiety leading up to a race that is at most a minute long, trying to hold down the nervous vomit. When I started succeeding out on the track, the pressure only increased, the expectations growing. I was setting higher standards for myself each week, everyone around me expecting me to go faster without providing any help. It got to a point where I felt like I was being used to ensure other people’s success, questioning what was the point of it all? Why am I pushing myself so hard for a high school sport? The answer is because there is no better feeling in the world then the feeling of being the first to cross that finish line, because for a brief moment, you feel invincible. This moment makes it worth it. I have grown significantly from the hardships, and without the struggles I wouldn’t be at the place where I am now. The hard work has paid off and means something.
ReplyDeleteDelia, I really liked your post. I also feel the pressure of sports and how stressful yet rewarding they can be!
DeleteDelia, I really appreciate your post. As a teenager, I have found that most of my peers comment about how stressful school is. As much as I also agree with that statement, I find myself being more anxious about sports than school. It is nice to hear that I'm not the only one who feels this added pressure.
DeleteWhen it comes to my nature the thing that sticks out for me the most is my personality. It’s my most defining factor, and always has been. Those who take the time to get to know me understand that there’s more than just what meets the eyes. But people’s perception of me is often misconstrued. They think just because i’m bubbly, and friendly doesn’t mean I can be more. As an attempt to be likeable and diffuse situations I can come off a silly, or carefree. People tend to perceive me as not as serious or qualified when it comes to more serious or academic situations. These were assumptions people made when they first met me, people who didn’t know the first thing about me. I began to notice this in middle school, and at first it really got to me. Snarky passing comments from kids who thought they were above me began to fill me my head with worry, could they be right? Am I too much or not good enough because I don’t act the same as all the ‘smart kids’? It was a long road but I now know you can be both smart and outgoing. You don’t have to sit around silently in a classroom to do well in school. No matter what everyone is going to judge you. Now i’m happy with who I am and my outgoing personality has helped foster relationships and achieve things I never thought I would.
ReplyDeleteSomething that I feel describes me very well is an ambivert. Depending on my surroundings, my mood, or just how I’m feeling that day I can be loud and outgoing or shy and reserved. Especially when I’m with my friends, you would think I was the chattiest person in the world; cracking jokes and enjoying being the center of attention. But put me in a high pressure situation and sharing my thoughts and opinions becomes really difficult. Sometimes I feel like this can affect me in school. I’m not someone who, every time the teacher calls on me, feels comfortable coming up with an answer right away. For most people, class participation isn’t a big deal, but I’d much rather share my thoughts in writing rather than verbally and can definitely get my ideas across better that way.
ReplyDeleteI think that in today’s society we really praise and often require the qualities that extroverts have; not being afraid to put themselves out there or share what they’re thinking. I feel like sometimes introverts have to hide their identity and pretend to be more extroverted in order to get certain jobs and other opportunities. However, I don’t think we give introverts enough credit. Just because they are maybe quieter than extroverts doesn’t necessarily mean that they aren’t as smart or as funny or as friendly as an extrovert. Having certain qualities that an extrovert may have as well as many qualities associated with introverts really allows me to appreciate both my quiet side as well as my more outgoing side.
Your blog was really interesting. I think I'm an ambivert as well, finding myself extroverted in some situations but introverted through others. It is definitely scary how much we praise extroverts and introverts can often get thrown aside. Introverts certainly do deserve more credit.
DeleteI was originally going to write about being an ambivert, too. Having both qualities of an extrovert and an introvert has benefitted me in similar ways. Like you had mentioned, I'm either outgoing or shy depending on how I'm feeling that day.
DeleteOne aspect of my naiture that has defined my entire experience growing up, but no one would ever know at first glance is that I am a twin. It may sound counterintuitive, but most people do not realize how closely linked most twins are growing up. As someone who also has another sibling of similar age, having a twin is an entirely unique experience. Especially when you are young you are treated like a unit, you wear similar clothes, are encouraged to have similar friends, and respond to the other’s name. However, even at that age, you are two completely different people. In my case this resulted in constant competition to distinguish yourself from the other. In just about every aspect of your life, you can’t just worry about doing your best, you also need to worry about doing better than your twin. In my life, this struggle has intensified most around schoolwork. While this has caused a fair deal of stress for me, I also think this aspect of being a twin has been one of the biggest benefits. By having such intense competition I have been motivated to work exponentially harder than if I did not have a twin. If I ever couldn’t get myself motivated to work for my own good years down the line, there was always this immediate competition to push me forward. However, competition is not always that healthy. Even now, the question of popularity is an issue, that gets especially mesys around the issue of mutual friends. Even if they seem to like both equally, there’s always that thought in the back of you mind that they need to be chalked up on somebody’s “side”. In other areas of being a twin, like sports, you can always make excuses if you were to lose, but when it comes to an issue like popularity, a loss feels more personal. I also find looking at this kind of subject as wins and losses to be the wrong way of making friends. However, over the past year or two, I have found the best way to differentiate yourself is not through competition, but through just being different. We still have some similar interests, but I have found that by not pursuing projects, interests, or friendships for the sake of competition, but only if I want to, it is a much better way of living. Becoming older has continuously allowed us to become more independent and make being different easier. In retrospect, while I would not recommend being a twin, it is not the worst thing in the world, and I am probably a better person because of the competition it produced.
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