Writer Taiye Selasi’s speech provides some fascinating perspectives that might come to your rescue.
“What are we really seeking, though, when we ask where someone comes from? And what are we really seeing when we hear an answer?” enquires Selasi, who is tired of being referred to as “multinational.”
Countries, she says, represent power, and as recent immigrants know all too well, “”Where are you from?” or “Where are you really from?” is often code for “Why are you here?””
Instead, of asking “Where are you from?” we should be asking, “Where are you a local?” The difference, she says, is in the intention of the question, and shifts our focus to where the heart of human experience occurs.
Directions: Selasi proposes a 3-step test to determine where you’re a local. She calls them the 3 R’s: Rituals, Relationships, and Restrictions. “Take a piece of paper and put those three words on top of three columns, then try to fill those columns as honestly as you can,” she says. “A very different picture of your life in local context, of your identity as a set of experiences, may emerge.” In this blog space share your findings. How would you answer the question, "Where are you local?"
Check out Taiye Selasi's novel, Ghana Must Go:
I honestly feel like my life isn’t that out of the ordinary for the most part compared to most people. I know that I lead a privileged life in comparison to other people, the only real things that I have that could be counted against me for my “restrictions” would be the fact that I am a woman and that I have depression and anxiety. Like most people. I have friends and family in my life that I have relationships with, and these relationships definitely impact my daily life and the way I live. My rituals, for the most part, and unremarkable. I go to school, work, cross country and track practice, and celebrate Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving with my family every year. I do ride my bike almost every day to school, which is pretty unusual in this area. But for the most part, I don’t do anything out of the ordinary in my day-to-day life.
ReplyDeleteIf I had to define where I am local, I would say that I am local to the Boston area in Massachusetts. Like Selasi said in her TED talk, despite being an American and living in the United States, I do not feel a real connection to the country as a whole, since I have not visited over half of the states and I do not identify with the culture in different areas of the country, like the Midwest or the South, for example. While I do have an ethnic background from Cuba, Ireland, England, Norway, Germany, and French Canada, I do not really consider myself to be local to any of these places and they do not really play a large role in my identity and I don’t really know anything about these places.
I would say that my locality mainly resides in Andover, though I definitely identify and feel at home with other places and aspects of life. For example, while I did not grow up in Newton, my dad and his entire family grew up there, and I visit there frequently. I am familiar with many of the restaurants and rituals that my dad went through there, so I feel very much at home there. However, I would not label myself as someone from Newton, because I am far from fully immersed in their culture and ways. I also feel really comfortable in South Yarmouth, because my mom’s side of the family owns a house there and I have spent a good amount of my summers there. We have regular restaurants, areas, and rituals we do when we are there, so I am very familiar and at home there. Once again, though, I would not label myself as being from Cape Cod, because I have not spent all of my time there and grown entirely attached to as a home.
ReplyDeleteBeing a 45 year-old, white, male I have never been asked, “Where are you from?” with a negative connotation. When I visited England as a student teacher I noticed that saying, “I am from Boston” was a way to put the listener at ease. “Not, California or Texas,” one man said to me. I also noticed that being an “American” meant that I was not too smart, and many were surprised that I could do anything. I began using “I am from Boston” as an apology and a plea. I felt I needed to defend myself. I realized that many people feel this way in their own home. It led me to the work I do now.
ReplyDeleteI was born in Lawrence, Massachusetts and my family moved to Groveland when I was four. My mother’s family is from Italy and my father’s side is from Canada. My mother’s side retained many Italian rituals, including the food, religion, and proud label of being “Italian.” Many of the rituals I engaged in are the same as many other Americans, so I never viewed my life as strange or interesting. I did notice that when I went to a Mexican-American friend’s house as a boy, his family felt more like my own, compared to the other “white” families I visited.
My rituals as an adult include morning meditation and writing in a personal journal. I also read from a book of “Daily Thoughts and Prayers” by Swami Paramananda. I write my thoughts, what I am grateful for, and what I need to do to make my day pleasant. I go to the gym regularly, ride my bike, draw and play guitar. I like to cook, and am the primary chef in the family. I enjoy going to concerts with my brother. My wife and I go shopping, see movies, travel, go camping, and go out to eat.
ReplyDeleteI can see that this is tying into my relationships. I have a family at home with my wife Luiza and son Aidan. We also have my mother-in-law who lives with us, and we see my family often, especially for Sunday dinner. I have a family at school, where I have friends and students who make my life meaningful. We have friends that we met through our son, as well as our friends Catalin and Daniella who live down the street from us. We go on trips with them to New York City and go camping together in the spring and summer.
The only major restriction I have is being a vegan. I cannot enjoy going out to eat as easily, and most family get-togethers are now a problem. I do not know any vegans, so I usually feel isolated. I used to use food as a reward or way to comfort myself, and it is harder to get a quick “fix” if you are a vegan. I also believe in God, which I find in this part of the country is tricky. Where I’m local it is seen as being unintelligent or a bully to believe in a higher power. My family became members of the Episcopal Church in Andover, and feel at home there. We were able to have our two close friends be our son’s godparents, which would not have been possible in the churches we grew up in because they are gay. I recently learned that my Myers-Briggs personality INFJ is one of the rarest in the world, with only 3-5% of the world sharing my way of experiencing life. "That" I feel is my greatest limitation in the world in which I live. I see the world differently. I always knew it, but finally got some validation, and can learn how to navigate the world better. There is nowhere for me to go to feel “at home” in a sense. I LOOK like I fit in, but I do not. I always felt like I am weird. I also learned that I am an HSP or Highly Sensitive Person. This is a term used by Dr. Elaine Aron in a book of the same name (Her website can be found here: https://hsperson.com/) It means that I notice more than the average person, which makes me feel tired. I can be exhausted after a family get together because it is sensory overload. I notice everyone's moods, clothes, mannerisms, make cognitive connections to things I read and experienced. It also gives me the ability to have empathy for people, where I actually take on other people’s grief. It is exhausting to be me. It also means things like caffeine and alcohol have a strong effect on me, which is why I cut those out of my diet. All of this seems strange, but the book helped me a great deal. I do find escaping the world around me and being in a book or drawing helps my mind. How would I explain this hen asked, “Where are you from?”
I travel a lot, and I am interested in learning as much about people and the world as possible. I traveled around the United States, as well as to Italy, France, Canada, Switzerland, Greece, Romania, Great Britain, Indonesia, and Germany. I have always lived in Massachusetts.
Where am I local? My name is Eric Pellerin. I am a teacher and an artist. I am a local of Reading, Massachusetts. I am of Italian and French-Canadian decent.
Being white, I am not often asked, “Where are you from?” with regard to my ethnic origin. However, I have frequently been asked the same question after moving to a new town, state, or country. I’ve moved seven times—across the country as well as overseas. As the “new” kid, I just list off the last place I lived. But I’ve never really had a hometown in the typical sense. When I move away to college, and my family moves to Utah, I’m not sure where I’ll tell people I’m from.
ReplyDeleteIt’s interesting how my family rituals have remained remarkably consistent over the years, but have certainly been influenced by the locations in which we’ve lived. We celebrate Christmas the way my mom’s family does back in San Luis Obispo, California. From Turkey, we’ve picked up the ritual of taking our shoes off in the house and hanging an evil eye next to our front door. Virginia was where I discovered Irish dance, which was a huge part of my life for ten years. My mom makes Mexican food twice a week because of the years we spent in California. My little brother pronounces words with a Boston accent after the short four years we’ve lived here. I will never have a single town to return to that will bring back all of my childhood memories. But I am grateful for the diversity in my experiences. I’ve lived in conservative as well as predominantly liberal areas. I’ve found friends among the troubled students at Pine Hollow Middle School, and among Andover students. My relationships can last despite distance, thanks to technology. I don’t have control over where I move next, for age is a restriction on my ability to determine my “local.” However, this has strengthened my relationships with my immediate family members, who are my only friends whenever I begin again at “ground zero”.
After watching this Ted Talk, I would tell people that I am local to Andover, Massachusetts; Clayton, California; Leesburg, Virgina; Ankara, Turkey; San Luis Obispo, California; Arlington, Virginia; San Diego, California; and soon Provo and Alpine, Utah.
I think about America in a context of many stereotypes. Being such a large place, America has been difficult to define or assign to myself as I do not feel related to the narrative created around this country. I am not loud, prefer a slower pace, and tend to be more reserved over all. My first thought would probably not be to call myself an American if I was asked, but to say I’m from Massachusetts or just outside of Boston. Certain states like Massachusetts seem more conspicuous and don’t hold any preconceived traits that could reflect on myself if I said where I was from. Still, this lack of personality that Massachusetts has is too broad a view of what I consider home. When I think about where I am from in a personal manner I consider the amount of my life spent in my neighborhood, on my corner of the street. The rituals I have grown up with all take place here. I talk with my mom in the kitchen each morning and after school each day. In my room I spend hours drawing, taking a pause for dinner with my dad and occasionally my sister. Christmas is celebrated in the house, only leaving for an hour for Church, from which we return to a full house, our family coming to visit us. We do not share in their experiences as they explain life in Colorado, Louisiana, and Maine. My sister and I try to throw a football on the main road outside where few cars pass during the holiday. I can see myself grow through every year I remember passing during these rituals. It is the place I have known taking walks in the cold and standing on the grass in warmer times. The resting place between summer travel and school.
ReplyDeletePeru, the closest country I could identify with, is foreign to me. Where my mom’s family first lived, I find myself as less than a novice level Spanish speaker, never having visited, and likely not finding home if I did. And yet I’ve grown up eating the food with my grandfather, hearing stories about their past life there and immigration to America. I slowly learned what my mom was saying to her sister when she was trying to keep secrets over the phone, and the small chastisements and terms of endearment are familiar to me, despite often forgetting their meaning. My relationship to this country is through my relationships with those closer to it and what I have learned through them.
I would say I feel few restrictions in my daily life as I am beginning to grow into my introversion due in part to encouragement and support from my family. Despite not fitting with certain values or beliefs of my close and extended family, I am always accepted and given a voice, which I am very grateful for.
I would say now, I am a local of my home in Andover, Massachusetts from a Peruvian family on my mom’s side.
When I was younger, I was always conflicted about where I was from. When I would go to Palestine at a young age, I always remembered the kids that lived in Ramallah there would call me and my siblings “medini”, meaning ‘city kids’ or girl from the city in English. When I would go home back to the U.S, my cousins on my Dad side, who are half-white would call us “afala” meaning ‘girl from the village’ or village girl, to represent the fact that we were more cultural than the rest of the family. Both of these phrases were complete opposites --- but in a way, they meant the exact same thing. You don’t belong here… and you’re not one of us.
ReplyDeleteMy mother is Lebanese and my father is Palestinian, but internally my family (even including my mom, after she married my father) has always been more culturally Palestinian. But no matter where you’re from, we’re all connected in our Arabness. When kids and adults alike used to ask me where I was from, I’d always defer to just saying Lebanese. For me, it was easier. It’s not that I felt ashamed of being Palestinian or Arab, but I learned early on that saying I was from Lebanon meant a lot less questioning, and a lot less assuming from others. People in Andover and Massachusetts know where Lebanon is, there are other Lebanese families in Andover, and they can connect it with a large Catholic population. These things made them more comfortable, and in turn, made me more comfortable.
There’s a strong sense of guilt that comes with living in the U.S, like you’re betraying your country and your people. I sometimes feel uncomfortable talking about the issues in Palestine, because even though they still have a strong effect on me, I don’t have to face the struggle of living under occupation everyday... like my relatives.
Where am I from?
DeleteI was born in Nashua, N.H at a Christian Hospital and moved to Andover at the age of 5 where I would spend my life growing up. My dad was born in Jerusalem, Palestine where he moved away from when he was young and my Mother in Cedar Rapids Iowa to Lebanese immigrants.
So, where am I local?
I’m local to the olive trees and the land of my family in Ramallah where we would spend the entire day playing soccer and running around until the sun would set as kids.
I’m local to George’s bakery in methuen, and all the hours me and my mom would spend there talking in the language I rarely got to hear at home.
I’m local to our families Estate in Lebanon and the homemade grape leaves that we would pick from the bush outside.
I’m local to all three of my countries, and the many places that lie within them.
Restrictions:
Nothing in the U.S is catered to my family's lifestyle. There are few halal restaurants, mosques are sparse, and a lot of socializing involves drinking alcohol.
It’s hard to go back home as often as I would like because of social and political conflict in my homeland.
Everything in the U.S has bacon!
Even though I love them, the countries that I’m from have a lot of sexism, corruption, homophobia and many other issues.
Relationships:
My Teta and Sitti, who I talk to almost day
My entire family really, who’s very close knit
My close friends and family in Andover as well as my friends from work
Rituals:
Fasting during Ramadan
Celebrating Eid
My parents watching the news every night
Big family gatherings
Close family
I am a white girl who has lived in Andover her entire life, and for that reason I am quite privileged. However, I believe that many people living here do not understand their privilege and how many more opportunities they are granted because of where they live. I wouldn’t consider my day to day life to contain any special rituals. I go to school and track practice five days a week, spend Friday nights with my friends, then I go into Boston for a meet every Saturday. I have a strong relationship with my mom and my older sister as well as my friends. One group of people who are extremely important to me is my team. I have created strong bonds with my fellow athletes as well as forming lifelong friendships. Track has given me more opportunities than I ever believed possible and has made me an overall better person. Although I have been granted incredible opportunities, I have had to work extra hard as a young woman. I have been viewed as inferior to male athletes because of my femininity, and viewed as less feminine compared to female non-athletes. I can’t just be respected as a woman who is an athlete without being criticized in some way.
ReplyDeleteI experienced an example of Andover privilege as well as male privilege just this past Saturday. I was at a track meet talking to one of my friends on the Lowell team. We were discussing colleges, her asking me if I had committed anywhere. I told her my college plans, asking her where she planned on going. She talked about how she wants to run at UMASS. Her teammate does at well, a girl who I have been competing against since sophomore year. One week I will beat her in a race, and the next week she’ll beat me. I consider her to be an exceptional athlete, believing that she could run wherever she wanted. Then I was told that she wasn't offered a spot on the UMASS team because of her grades. This shocked me. How could a Massachusetts’ state school not accept one of the fastest sprinters in the state of MA? A girl who has dedicated her time to her craft in hopes to run in college, ultimately turned down because of her grades. It is shameful. I know for a fact that many people from this town would argue that she is undeserving because of her poor grades, but that is an ignorant point. A girl just as fast as me limited because she wasn’t given the same educational opportunity as me. It made me feel guilty that I had not appreciated my education for all that is was. It also made me angry because I know that if she were a man, her grades wouldn’t have mattered as much. As female athletes, we are expected to still be smart. This is because a career in sports is unstable and therefore need to have something to fall back on. I have always felt pressured to do well in school for many reasons, but one being I was afraid that if I didn’t, I would be viewed as a “dumb jock.” This was because people use to tell me how undeserving college athletes were because they were taking away spots from students who were smarter than them. The assumption that athletics alone are guaranteed to get you into college is false. After being told this story, I will not only appreciate the opportunities that I have been given, but also perhaps in the future help in ending the corruption involved in female athletics.
I am a student and an athlete. I am of Irish and Italian descent, a local of Andover, MA and a future local of Boston, MA. I am privileged, but I will not allow that to make me ignorant.
I have spent my entire life in Andover, so this is where I would say I am a local. But for me I don’t see it as being that simple. For every Christmas, Easter, and most birthdays my family goes and stays with my grandmother in Vermont. This is where my mom grew up and where most of my extended family lives. Everytime we are there we have big family gatherings and traditions that make me feel at home even though it is only technically a few days of the year I spend there. But if someone from Barre, VT was talking to me asking me where I was “from”, I would say Boston or Andover, because I was not one of the 20 kids in class with her own children. But I feel at home there, I have had many experiences there that have shaped my life from relationships to rituals. Although I don’t live there, I did grow up through the time I spent there.
ReplyDelete-Kathleen
DeleteWhen I first began my chart I had a relatively easy time until I got to my rituals. Looking back after having completed it this is actually very ironic because my life is extremely ritualistic. In fact, my rituals are a big thing restricting me. As a teenager, I am constantly being told where I must go and I do a lot of the same things every single day because it’s what I’m ‘supposed’ to do. I go to school, then to work or sometimes a sport/activity, after that, I go home to do all my homework and get ready to do it all over again. These obligations are a big thing holding me back from doing whatever I please. Yet, I am pretty lucky because I do not have all that many large restrictions. The few I do have to face every day are my age, my financial status as young person, and my gender.
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost Andover is definitely where I am local because it is where my life is. It is home to all of my relationships and rituals. It is where I feel most comfortable and at home. But there are also many other places I feel local. The first being the small town in Maine that I have a house in. In this town, I have made some of my favorite memories and met many great people. If someone was to ask where I am from the answer would technically be Watertown, Massachusetts but I do not feel like a local their anymore. It is the place I spent the first eight years of my life but now I barely remember it. There are many places I feel a deeper connection to than the one from which I am actually ‘from’.
In this way I do understand where Selasi was coming from. I am very aware of my privilege because Andover and Watertown are very similar, safe, and less severe as compared to what others have experienced. But I am glad I have had this experience as it allows me to acknowledge my privilege.
-Kathryn
DeleteWhere am I local? When the word home is discussed, the first thought that comes to mind is the bright blue color scheme of my bedroom or gathering around the kitchen table with my cousins. Places like these make me feel safe and supported, like a steady base I can always rely on. Lacing up my cleats and stepping onto the soccer field instantly feels natural. Since I've played year round for so many years, being in an off season quickly makes me restless. I dont know what I would do without this outlet to relieve stress and exercise. Not only the sport, but the friends and bonds created throughout the seasons are connections that'll last a life time. Stopping at Perk for a cinnamon sticky bun iced coffee or showering before bed may seem like silly daily routines, but the simplicity of this routine keeps my engine running. If you don't know me personally, reading about a blonde soccer playing teenage girl who drinks ice coffee makes me seem the such a "basic white girl". With my blonde hair, blue eyes, and peppy personality, I fit the stereotypical figure of a ditzy, air headed teenage girl. This stereotype frequently allows people to underestimate me, constantly making blonde jokes and comments like "oh I didn't think you were actually smart." Furthermore, guys will jokingly say "get back in the kitchen" or "clean this up" at social gatherings. These sexist jokes are not only offensive, but completely unnecessary and often this level of immaturity frustrates me. I believe women are continuously gaining freedom and respect and need to continue pushing for the respect we deserve. I'm more than just a "dumb blonde" and no matter where women are local, they have a story to share.
ReplyDeleteRituals:
apple picking
beach trips
harry potter marathons
perk
working with kids
takeout pizza
Relationships:
friends
family
teachers
kids
restictions:
age
female
time
physical attributes
parents/teachers/adults
Although I have talked in other classes about the question, “where are you from”, I never really understood the true meaning behind what appears to be a harmless question. Specifically, when I started thinking about the rituals, relationships, and restrictions I have, I was stumped. As most people follow along with their daily routine, everything appears to be something that everyone must do. It is hard to picture things that seem so “normal” to us to not even be a part of other people’s lives. Something that I do every day after school is go to practice. When I get trapped in my own personal bubble, it is hard for me to imagine people not following this routine. Now looking at it from a step back, this is just something that I have always done, so it is very natural. It does not make it something that people should do, or want to do, it is just my personal experience. I also think that the privilege of living in Andover can blind many people. Other than being female, I do not see many restrictions in my life. I grew up in a white family in a well off town and did not see many difficulties going through elementary school and middle school. Now in high school, it is a concept that I understand much more, but still not all the way. I recognize that this question is something that I never thought twice about, but has a much deeper meaning for many other people. I want to understand more about this, and I can do this just by listening to the people around me. At the end of class, the group around me was talking about our rituals, more specifically, what we eat. Even though this doesn't seem like a huge part of who we are, things like the food we eat and the family we share it with make up a huge part of where we consider ourselves locals. I know that in the position I am, I do not face many challenges with the question of “where am I from”, but it is important to me that I look to see how other people react to their 3 Rs, and where we consider ourselves local.
ReplyDeleteAs a white girl, I really have never been asked where I’m from. But, asked the question I would answer Massachusetts with no hesitation. I have lived here since I was two years old and it’s where my life is. All of my friends are here and it is where I grew into the person I am today. However, I was actually born in St. Paul, Minnesoda. However, I have absolutely no memories of my time here. Interestingly though, my family does refer to soda as “pop” which is a very common thing in the midwest. It has little impact in my life but does remind me that I was not born in New England. Living in New England has been wonderful but, it has had its drawbacks. Both my mom and my dad are from Washington state (not D.C. as most east coasters assume!). They grew up in Bellevue, an affluent suburb of Seattle. My whole life we have gone at least twice a year. We always go at Christmas and during the summer. I truly know Bellevue like the back of my hand and I never feel out of place when I’m there. In fact, many local businesses know my family because of how frequently we visit. The hardest part about my life in Massachusetts has been the distance that separates me from Seattle. 3,000 miles feels like a world away and is a pain to get to. It’s hard having my entire family from both sides live there because it leaves me with just my mom, dad and brother for many holidays. I’ve grown accustomed to only have four people at my thanksgiving dinner and not getting to see my grandma on my birthday. It’s just how my life has always been. Even with seeing my family at least four times a year has been an incredible blessing. I am lucky that my parents and my extended family all have the means to afford frequent travel.
ReplyDeleteHeritage wise, I am German and Irish. Although I am a greater percentage Irish than German, I identify more with my German background. I believe this was all the influence of my grandmother, who I always called Oma (German word for nana) and who left Germany during WW2. With her, we would celebrate our Christmas on Christmas Eve, as most people do in Germany. She would also have me eat almost all foods with a knife and fork (french fries, pizza, tater tots) and although it looks silly to Americans, it is how they do it in Germany.
-Anna
As someone who is almost never asked where they come from, “near Boston”, was all I have had to say about it for years. However, like most two word answers, this is not the full story. My personal association with the greater Boston area has more to do with avoiding the negative connotations that come with the more general term “American” than it does with having a deep connection to this area. While being raised here does carry with it a certain significance, I think that being local to an area demands a level of engagement with the community beyond my casual attendance of Andover Day and the occasional sports game. However, at the same time I am not local to anywhere else; disregarding knowledge of local institutions and customs, Andover is a fairly rare setting in terms of culture of privilege. It is my opinion that a lot of this has to do with living with my parents in Andover. I have not been forces to truly live the area around me and so I have maintained a comfortable level of disconnect. I don’t need to care what apartments are available, what backroads shave time off my commute, or if we have a laundromat in town. As such, I would not consider a local of anywhere, but a guest of Andover.
ReplyDeleteMy missing sense of locality is further explained by a categorical review of my rituals, relationships and restrictions. My rituals are very typical a white american family. We casually observe some variation of Christianity, mostly for the family aspect, avoid seasonings on the off chance something is spicy, and have a western-progressive family dynamic. My relationships happen to be slightly more varied. We tend to have little contact with my extended family, much of whom are dead or in Ireland. For whatever reason a large proportion of my friends happen not to share my ethnic background, which has afforded me a kind of second-had cultural exposure. This taste of life outside Andover is part of the reason I think I feel a weak connection with this place as I would rather explore more ways of life before settling on one. This is reinforced by a love of travel. However, the fact that I can afford to think about travel is also a crucial component of my position in life. I have been incredibly fortunate to find myself in a position of having minimal restrictions in life. However, the absence of restrictions as an influence for me does seem to have had an effect, as I do not share in the sense of community that is often characteristic of restricted groups; such as close social circles found within certain ethnic groups, or political movements such as feminism which has a special significance to women. Ideally, all of this information would amount to a simple address. Maybe even a town, or an entire state, but in reality I can’t tell. I dread self reflective pieces like these because they always highlight how many things I need to figure out about myself, and the place(s) where I am truly at home is another item on that list.
Both of my parents are Irish, alongside being born and raised in Malden. Though I am Irish and know a lot about Malden due to this, I wouldn’t call myself local to these places. I was born in Boston and lived in Tewksbury up until elementary school, when my family moved to Andover. Most of my rituals and relationships are found in Andover; I go to school in Andover, my job is in Andover, and my immediate family and friends live in Andover. While I’m certainly mainly local to Andover, I think I’m also local to Tewksbury and Sebago Maine. I lived in Tewksbury for the first 7 years of my life, and my grandma lives there currently. Every weekend my mom and I visit my grandma in Tewksbury and go out to breakfast at nearby diners with her alongside going grocery shopping for her, making me fairly accustomed to the neighborhood. My extended family also has houses by Sebago Lake in Maine, where my family has stayed for most summers since my brother and I were really young, making both of us (seasonal) locals there. As for restrictions, I also took the Myers-Briggs test a year or so ago and got INFJ too! I relate to a lot of the descriptions for this personality type, such as feeling disconnected yet being extremely observant while simultaneously experiencing great empathy for others. Weird. Ultimately, I think I am local to Andover, Tewksbury, and Sebago, with an emphasis on Andover because a large majority of my rituals, relationships, and restrictions are here.
ReplyDeleteInitially, I was unsure how to answer this question as to where I was local. Like many other people, I would first consider myself to be a local of Andover. I've spent the majority of my life in this town, having moved here at two years old. However, that isn't the main reason why I call myself a local of Andover. Over the past 16 years, I've formed several rituals and relationships within this town. For instance, like Jessica had mentioned, I frequent The Ultimate Perk regularly, as well as Casa Blanca and the bookstore downtown. My weekends usually fall in some sort of pattern, where I go downtown to eat with my friends, then return to my house afterwards. I associate myself with several aspects that make up Andover, whether it be Holt Hill (somewhere I also visit a lot with my friends) or the Collins Center (where I do theatre after school). Similar to what other comments have said, I also identify with my Myers-Briggs personality type. When I took the quiz, it told me I was an ENFJ. Though I'm not entirely sure I would label myself as an extrovert, I did feel that the result was accurate. I consider myself to be a very nurturing person, so the description of an ENFJ felt very applicable to my life.
ReplyDeleteSeeing how I'm also a white girl from Andover, I haven't felt that there were many restrictions in my life. Still, I would consider my gender to be a main restriction. Nowadays, it isn't uncommon for someone to make jokes about how women "belong in the kitchen" and so on. Though these comments have not always been aimed at me, I still feel their effect. Although this restriction is not as significant or extreme, I also don't have my driver's license. This is something my family constantly lectures me about, seeing how I often ask them for rides to work, school, friends' houses, and etc. Truthfully, I'm not sure whether me not getting my license is a result of fear or just me being a terrible driver. Whenever I drive with my parents in the car, it usually ends in either tears or an argument. One time, I almost hit at Peapod truck that was leaving my boss' driveway, and my parents never let me hear the end of it. Besides these two factors, I've felt that I've been mostly privileged throughout my life, though not oblivious to the other struggles and restrictions that many others face in the world today.
I was born in Winchester, MA and have lived in Andover my whole life, so I would consider myself as an Andover local. When I was younger and I would get asked “Where are you from?” I never knew what they wanted as an answer. Especially when we would travel, I’d never know whether to say the US or that my parents are from China. It feels weird to say that I am from the US since the country is so large and every state has different everyday ways of life. I know that New England can be grouped to be pretty similar but it is very different from like the Midwest or the south. It also feels weird saying I am from China because I have never lived there and I don’t even knowing how to speak, read, or write chinese but I am chinese. When I do visit China, even though it may look like I fit in more, relatives and friends have pointed out that my sister and I have a different way or carrying ourselves even when we are just walking on a city street. My family has rituals like taking off our shoes and also little things that she’ll yell at me for like walking around the house barefoot or sleeping or going outside with my hair wet.
ReplyDeleteMichelle, I can imagine how not speaking the language or being able to read or write makes such a big difference. Out of my siblings, I am really the only one who speaks fluent arabic (although they would try to attest to that, but I know me and my parents know it's true.) I used to go to my grandparents every summer and that's where I learned how to speak arabic for the most part, but my siblings wouldn't come cause they were always busy with sports. It really does make a big difference.
DeleteWhere am I local? As someone who moved around a lot in my early years, this question is intriguing. When I was in third grade, I was asked to write a poem where every line started with “I am from.” I don’t really remember the exact poem that I crafted, but it went something like this:
ReplyDeleteI am from - my parents.
I am from - Burbank Elementary School.
I am from - Massachusetts .
I am from - Florida.
I am from - New York.
I am from - Karate Class.
I am from …
Well, you get the picture. The exercise seemed silly to me at the time, but in retrospect, after listening to Taiye Salasi’s Ted Talk and her perspective on origins, this poem gets to the heart of our real identities. The world has us divided into so many groups, but the commonality of experiences, what Salasi calls Rituals, Relationships and Restrictions, regardless of where we are from geographically, should bind us. As a white male, I am reminded daily that my birthright has somehow given me privilege, but in reality it should neither add any value to my existence nor should it deduct points from my worth. If you look at the simple third grade exercise and think about its lesson, we are all local in our humanity and that should be where we are all from.
I was born in Boston, Massachusetts. I moved around when I was younger so some surrounding areas but I would consider myself as growing up in Andover. My mom is of an Italian and Irish descent but grew up in New Jersey then moved to Andover for high school. My Dad was born in England then moved to the United States when he was five. Since then he has moved around throughout the states, then resided in Andover when he married my mom. I consider Andover to be where I am from, and my mom considers that to be where she is from as well because this is where she has the most memories from in her life. I do not get asked where I am from that often, unless I am traveling somewhere foreign where I may look different from the people around me. My rituals and traditions usually involve many family get togethers, especially during holidays and birthdays. Where I am from and who I am surrounded by make up what I consider to be home.
ReplyDeleteFor the most part, I don’t feel that my rituals, restrictions, and relationships are too different from many of my classmates. I have similar rituals to many others that include going to school, working in the afternoon, doing my homework at night, etc. I celebrate my birthday, and Christmas with my mom’s family and Hanukkah with my dad’s. I have a very privileged life where I’m not restricted in many ways. Besides being a teenager with certain age restrictions, the biggest restriction in my life is probably being a woman and any gender roles or inequalities that can come with that. However, I feel that in terms of my relationships, my relationship with my family is extremely strong, and is something that could stand out from many of my peer’s family ties. Especially concerning my mom and my sister, sometimes I think of us more like friends than relatives. The three of us like to go to concerts together, talk about different celebrities, and other things like that which I think make our relationship special.
ReplyDeleteWhen asked the question “where are you local?” I have a hard time answering. I think technically, I am a local of Andover, as I have lived here for the majority of my life, however, I have never really felt like I related to the town very much. When people ask me where I’m from, I always just say I’m from Boston. I feel like I can connect more with a big city than a small suburban town that can sometimes feel very homogeneous, and where I won’t be living for much longer. I can picture myself growing old in Boston, but have never been able to picture myself or even my other family members living the rest of our lives in Andover. As someone with a lot of wanderlust, I think it’s possible that someday I won’t even consider myself to be a Boston local anymore. Next year I’ll be moving to Washington D.C., and I can see, depending on my connection with the city and the relationships, rituals, and restrictions I will experience, referring to myself as a local there someday in the future.
I like how you described that even though your rituals may seem similar to most people, your family relations are a strong characteristic for you. Also, I definitely relate to the idea that saying "I'm from Boston" is often easier to think about that saying Andover.
DeleteWhen asked “Where are you local?”, I wouldn’t really know where to begin. I’ve lived in Andover for almost 12 years now and I was born in Massachusetts. Throughout my whole time in Andover, I’ve never really loved this town and have never been proud of saying I’m from here. I don’t like the stuck up image that people often conjure up when they think of Andover. Usually the only thing they know about Andover is that rich people live here and Phillips Academy is here. When in other states or even other countries, I always say that I’m from around Boston rather than Andover. Though I'll always remember the good parts of Andover like Shawsheen Elementary and Harold Parker, it will never be my favorite place or somewhere I truly connect. Before living in Andover, I lived in Dover, NH. I lived there until I was six years old so I don’t have a lot of memories from there and thus I have never really considered it where I’m from. I was born in Plymouth but I’ve only been there once since birth so I’ve never connected with Plymouth either. One of my sets of grandparents lives in sandwich and has since my Mom was 16. Visiting there has become commonplace, a regular ritual, I’ve come to know the street names and how to get around town. Growing up I visited New York City at least once a time a year, sometimes up to three times, until I was ten years old. For a long time it has been my favorite place I’ve ever been. Though that ritual isn’t as common anymore, I still find myself connecting back to the city that was always the best part of my childhood.
ReplyDeleteMy heritage has always been interesting to me. My name, Elissa Lonie, though I’ve always disliked it directly connects back to my heritage. My last name is Scottish and has connections to my family’s Scottish clan from when my ancestors used to live there. My Dad was born in Germany, but his parents aren’t from there and he didn’t live there for long. His Dad was just stationed there as part of his military service. My Mom’s family on the other hand comes from Italy. My great-great-grandmother immigrated here from Italy. These Italian roots have always been visible in my life, from the handmade pasta to my Grandpa speaking Italian. When asked about my heritage, I would likely list that I was Scottish, Irish and Italian before anything else. They’ve become a preference for me and something I enjoy saying rather than listing out the many other European countries my family comes from.
Similar to Mr. Pellerin, I have a dietary restriction. I have been vegetarian since the beginning of high school. Though it’s not as extreme as being vegan and I can still eat eggs and dairy products, it has many impacts on my daily life. At many restaurants, I can only eat a salad and in school I can almost never have hot lunch. I can’t eat the rice krispie treats everyone enjoys from the snack shack nor the fruit snacks. Although, this restriction certainly isn’t the most restricting of my restrictions. Since as early as the beginning of middle school, I’ve been aware of the dangers I have due to my position as a woman. I’ve been subject to unwanted advances and fear for what may come in the future. Though I am not as unsafe as other women in the United States and not as unsafe in women in some other countries, I’m still left to fear what may happen to me. I don’t feel safe walking on my own at night or traveling alone, while I know my male friends have no concern about the same things. This restricts when and where I can travel and who I can travel with.
Elissa, I can relate to your feeling of not being proud of this town. I have lived in Andover my whole life and I have never really felt connected to it.
DeleteI am vegetarian as well, and I relate to you and Mr. Pellerin about not being able to enjoy going out to eat as much or not being able to eat a lot of the food at school. It seems like everything in the cafeteria has meat in it! I can only have the pizza and wraps most of the time, and I can imagine the options are even fewer for vegans.
DeleteI can definitely relate to a lot of what you talk about in your post. I know personally I have been judged many times when I've said I'm from Andover and had people assume things about me that aren't true. For example, I was in NYC this summer for a program I did and got a couple of weird and judgemental looks and comments from people one night when I was wearing Andover sweatpants.
DeleteI was born in Boston, MA and have lived in Andover all my life. The question “Where are you from?” I’ve learned that it has become an opening question for them to always follow with, “Oh… I thought you were … [insert race]”. It comes as a surprise that I can speak English so well, and becomes a surprise that I speak another language to my parent’s on the phone while others stare at me as if I had 3 heads. I thought these little quirks about me were so embarrassing I embraced the American culture and shunned my own. I refused to invite people into my house because I didn’t want them eating “exotic” food (as some call it) with chopsticks and wear slippers around the house. Eventually, when I came into high school, I realized how these little quirks are what make me so special, are what make the others jealous, and what makes me value my family more than anyone else in the world. My extended family and my grandparents are my family, we visit at least once a week and it's become a routine to eat dinner together.
ReplyDeleteRituals: Taking off my shoes in the house, Chinese New Year, speaks a second language, taking off shoes, the youngest are always treated the best, common family gatherings
Relationships: My grandparents raised me
Uncle lives with me
Visit relatives every week
Restrictions: Don’t eat a lot of traditional American food
Disconnect with family in China
Willa, I really liked your blog post. I always used to be scared that my white friends would think my families food is gross too.
DeleteI don’t feel particularly local to any location but instead feel that the aggregate of my experiences better defines me as a person. In my childhood, I grew up in North Andover but never felt local to it. My family had moved from Czechoslovakia, an ex-communist country which no longer exists, and for that reason, I was raised in that setting. Most of life was a combination of trying to implement both -- speaking Slovak, but butchering the language with random English words added in. Growing up, as I separated from my parents, American culture became a greater part of me and prevailed more into our family.
ReplyDeleteSelasi’s TED Talk was one that truly resonated with me as I never thought about the absurdity of the question “where are you from”. When I completed the table of my rituals, relationships, and restrictions, I found it rather difficult to think about my restrictions and rituals. I often do not register everything that prohibits me and the “rituals” I do, but over time it was easier to come up with them. However, pondering the relationships in my life was rather easy as I have several deep and profound relationships that I am fond of.
ReplyDeleteFor my rituals, I wake up every morning and say a morning prayer. After that, I take a shower, get dressed, consume breakfast, and head over to school. At school, I attend my classes, and after school, I go to my clubs and practices. I end my day with doing work, hanging out with friends, and doing my other extracurriculars. For my relationships, I have several close friends who I share personal things with. My close family is also a strong relationship I have, and I also hold close regards for my teachers and mentors. I often face restrictions due to my height in basketball. In regards to school, I face restrictions for my race as college decisions are based of that. Finally, my age also places a restriction in my voice in society.
When I would answer the question where are you local, I would say I am from Andover Massachusetts. This is the place that held the majority of my childhood and it is also where I grew into adulthood. Though in my younger years I did move a lot- from Stoneham to Malden to Shrewsbury to Melrose- I truly treat Andover as my home. My parents are from India, and oftentimes people associate me with that background, though I never grew up there. I do hold some Hindu beliefs, but I identify myself as an American, though people view me as Indian.
I was born in Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin but moved to Massachusetts when I was only one year old. Although I have no memories of living in Wisconsin, I’ve always felt a strange sort of attachment to it that I can’t quite explain. I always wonder what my life would be like if we hadn’t moved. One thing I know for sure is that I would have stronger relationships with my relatives. None of them live in the Northeast; only Wisconsin, Iowa, Colorado, Tennessee, and Florida. Because of how busy I am with school, sports, and life in general, we aren’t able to visit them very frequently. My grandmother is the only person who flies to Massachusetts to visit us. I try my best to maintain my relationship with my younger cousin because I remember what it was like to look up to my older cousin Kristen who lives in Wisconsin. I was heartbroken when she went to college and no longer made time to contact me.
ReplyDeleteAlthough my rituals seem rather boring, I can’t imagine my life without them. I pray before dinner, get a new ornament every Christmas Eve and add it to the tree, eat angel food cake on Christmas Eve, eat holiday meals (Easter Brunch, Christmas Dinner, etc.) in the dining room instead of the kitchen, take shoes off in the house, and celebrate St. Nicholas on December 5th. Another one of my rituals, which I didn’t think about until reading other people’s blogs, is going to skating practice. Just like my other rituals, I can’t imagine my life without it. While skating has brought me a lot of joy, it has also brought me a great deal of anxiety. As a result, I think I will quit when I go to college. Although I know it is for the best, I am scared to think about my life without it, literally. I began skating when I was about 3 years old so I don’t know what it’s like to not go to practice every week, have competitions on weekends, and see my teammates all the time.
Growing up in Andover, I realize the amount of privilege I have. The restrictions I listed were female, teenager, and blonde. When I think about the experiences I have had so far in life, the blonde restriction stands out to me the most. This past summer I went to Emory University in Georgia for a pre-college program. Coincidentally, my three closest friends were also blonde. It didn’t take long for us to start hearing the blonde jokes. I remember one particular night the four of us went to a trivia competition. Although many other teams were doing badly, we were the only ones to be called out for it. Before the competition even started, we were required to have a team name. We were given the name “The Blondes”, without even having a chance to come up with a name on our own. The name stuck with us for the rest of the night. What I find particularly fascinating is that I haven’t received many dumb blonde jokes in Andover since elementary/middle school. Rather, I get “goody two shoes” jokes. This might just be my overthinking and psychology-loving mind talking, but I wonder if the reason I put so much effort into doing well in school and being generally well behaved is to avoid the dumb blonde jokes that I got as a kid.